Jeff can't catch a break! But I would like to be in a cocoon for a bit, too. Thanks for reading! Please support Paranatural on Patreon or with a one-time donation on Ko-fi! Thank you so much!

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[Transcript]

        Jeff hung from the ceiling in a string cocoon, gently squirming, tossing and turning, in the throes of an uneasy sorcerous sleep.

        “...Which MEANS that I am still allowed to HARM your funny friend JEFFAVORITE FLAVORS, doesn’t it?” Fauxbia flashed rows of rotten fangs—two of which were already beginning to extend beyond their neighbors.

        Cody, however, had lost his mind for detail to the cold rage that consumed him. There was a blur of black as he raked claws he didn’t know he had through Fauxbia’s fabric, nails that sharpened in an instant like his father’s. The satisfying rip of puppet substance was quickly undercut by a bemused little laugh from the Witch. She was unharmed—he’d slashed the dummy thinking it would bleed the blood of the ventriloquist.

        “Come now, CODY, you’re SMARTER than that,” the Fear Witch scoffed. “I said that I COULD harm him, not that I WOULD or HAD!” The shadows clinging to Fauxbia flickered, and she threw the hand that had grazed her aside with a swish of her wrist and a flash of string as faint as fishing line. “SO YOU’D BETTER WATCH YOUR BEHAVIOR, YOUNG MAN!” she snarled, briefly incandescent. “A BAT SHOULDN’T SWING WILLY-NILLY IF HE WANTS THE POOR PIÑATA TO SURVIVE!!” Fauxbia jabbed a gnarled finger at a dangling Jeff, then slowly simmered back down to a pleasant, grandmotherly smile. “None OF this need BE a threat, my dear. WHAT I’ve given you is a GIFT, if you can EARN it: a Jeffavorite Flavors I can’t HURT! Not even if I want TO!”

        “Fauxbia!” Cody growled, feeling strength he didn’t want well up from deep inside him. “You monster!”

        “...Cody, honey, you KNOW what they say about GLASS HOUSES.” Fauxbia put her hands on her hips and still had several free to wag a finger. “TERRIBLE real estate investment FOR a vampire! Tsk, tsk! Have you learned NOTHING of your FATHER’S occupation?” She let out a wry snort from some horrible velveteen cavity. “You’d think that Davy WOULD be keen to let you JOB SHADOW him more often, given HOW desperately he clings to both YOU and the SHADE for dear UNLIFE. And yet the SON who needn’t fear the SUN lives in the shadow of his COMBUSTIBLE FATHER instead! I wish I could SAY you’ll grow out of it, CODY, but who knows when THOSE vampire genes will cause you to PLATEAU? It would be rather FUNNY if the spawn of Captain Hook was PETER PAN...”

        “Just shut up! Let Jeff go right now!” Cody shouted in frustration. “He’s got nothing to do with this!”

        “Sweetie, MORSEL, keep YOUR voice down! CAN’T you see the baby’s SLEEPING? Maybe it is YOU who should SHUT UP!”

        As if on cue, Jeff grumbled softly as he turned in his cocoon.

        “G-guhh...” he mumbled, smacking his lips. “Gundam...” 

        “You wouldn’t WANT to wake him,” Fauxbia sneered, haunting Cody’s shoulder while he looked up at his friend with fearful eyes. “As MUCH as you value his SAFETY... you want what he GIVES you EVEN more. A chance to PLAY innocent! A friend WHO doesn’t see YOU as a monster!” The Witch’s grin widened as she witnessed Cody flinch. “How would YOU explain a FREAK like ME to a normal boy like HIM, Cody? Or those fangs that you can’t HELP but bare on your dear PET’S behalf...?”

        Cody’s spirit sank. He looked down, then back up to his best friend with a somber resignation.

        “...Go back to sleep, Jeff,” Cody muttered. “It’s just... just a bad dream.”

        As if subconsciously satisfied with that answer—or, perhaps, the sound of Cody’s voice—Jeffavorite Flavors smiled and sank back into his slumber.

        “That’s right,” Fauxbia snickered approvingly. “PLUNGE the poor boy into THE frightful world of the PARANATURAL... and he’d NEVER look at you or ANYTHING the same way, would he, CODY...? We can’t have THAT!” She bounced around the room like a jaunty marionette, settling at last on the burned ruins of a desk. “Let’s SECURE your happy student life TOGETHER, you and I!”

        “What is it that you’re asking me to do?” Cody snapped back through clenched fangs.

        “Oh, exactly WHAT you’ve always done, MY boy! Follow in your FATHER’S footsteps! Heck, THIS time, you’ll beat him TO the punch!” Fauxbia grinned. “I want YOU, Cody... to lead a WITCH HUNT.” 

        The young vampire’s eyes flashed blue with bloodlust as he met the Witch’s gleeful gaze.

        “...NOT for ME, you DOG,” she scoffed in mock offense, grinning still wider. “Not truly. Get your SPITEFUL MIND out of the gutter—that’s where I live, silly boy!” Fauxbia chuckled. “Now, this may come AS some surprise to YOU, but I’ve NEVER much cared for AUTHORITY. It’s the chaos order brings THAT I delight in and REQUIRE, MISTER PRESIDENT. You’ll soon FIND that I’ve already SET the RUTHLESS rules in motion FOR a very useful game of CAT and MOUSE.” Fauxbia spread her arms out in a fan of limbs and digits. “All you HAVE to do to free YOUR friend... is PLAY ALONG!”