Thanks for waiting! Happy Halloween from Paranatural! Support my funny story on Patreon and Ko-fi so I can keep the spooky going year-round! Thank you for reading! 

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[Transcript]

        Suzy’s computer suddenly jingled with the chime of an incoming instant message. Collin gave it to a cursory glance over her shoulder, then a squinting second look.

        “Who is that?” he asked, pointing at Suzy’s monitor.

        “Huh?”

        Suzy turned back to the screen, where her report on a little-known sequel to a famous Charles Dickens novel (“Greater Expec2tions: Pip in the City”) had been covered up by a chatbox that had popped up out of nowhere.

        Hello, Suzy, read its solitary message. Do you know who this is? 

        “Why’s everybody asking me?” grumbled Suzy, scowling at the unknown chatter’s question. Their avatar was some weird cartoon that Suzy didn’t recognize, because she was too normal and likeable for that sort of thing, and she was pretty sure that library computers weren’t meant to have chat programs in the first place.

        In lieu of typing her reply, Suzy took a screenshot of the stranger’s profile picture and username (“Amorpheous”) and sassily returned it to its sender.

        True enough. You only know what lies before your eyes, typed Amorpheous. And the lies. Have piled up. Leaving you: blind. 

        “For sure, man,” Suzy droned aloud, curdling at Amorpheous’s tone. 

        But even the blind can do justice, to a story worth reporting. When given something tangible to probe. It is time that you removed those rose-colored glasses you’re so fond of, and saw the Biddle School for what it isn’t.

        Suzy typed “poop gif” into her search bar to try and find an appropriate response. Before she could finish, though, another anonymous message arrived.

        Suzy of the Journalism Club. I have good news. And I have bad news. Both are bitter pills to swallow. Pick your poison. I will show my hand, but once. 

        “Oh my god,” Collin scoffed, leaning in closer. “Is someone trying to leak something to the press? To YOU??”

        Suzy blinked. Sparkles glittered faintly in her eyes when they reopened. She suddenly sat upright, turning her full attention to the screen. ASDF, JKL, aaaand semicolon—her fingers locked in place above the home keys.

        “Suzy, I wasn’t trying to encourage you...” groaned Collin, running his fingers down his face.

        you’re little guy has two right hands ;P lol, Suzy typed. that means whichever hand i pick...... will allways be the right one >;)

        “That’s clever,” Isabel said.

        Very clever... typed Amorpheous.

        “I should have gone to Bayview Academy,” whined Collin.

        As they say, Suzy, the anonymous interloper continued, two rights make a wrong. A wrong that must be righted. And as they also say: no news is good news. Ergo: there was never any “good news” to deliver. Only bad news, and this test, which you’ve passed.

        i love to be the bearer of bad news, amrophous, Suzy sent back, then amorphoeus and ampharos until she finally gave up. can i call you something else lol that’s really hard to type XD

        Hm. Very well. For the sake of swifter justice, I will choose a shorter codename. Elsewhere, a figure shrouded in witness-protection-esque shadow briefly glanced at the Pokémon profile picture that he’d chosen as his very clever hacker mask. You may call me...... “Jim 3”.

        “La résistance...” an awestruck Isaac mumbled (he had sidled over too). You could only push the innocent so far before their i-frames turned the tide...

        And now that you have chosen what to call me, typed Jim 3, I have chosen, to call you.

        Suzy’s phone suddenly went off in her pocket. It unfortunately played a lively “breaking news bulletin” sort of jingle, a ringtone that buffed its attention-grabbing ability by at least five to ten percent. Everybody in the library turned to face her, raising their fingers to shush her in chorus.
        
        “S-sorry!” Suzy sheepishly sputtered. “I have to take this! F-family emergency!”
        
        Mr. Starchman pogged with shocked concern.

        “A NATIONAL FAMILY EMERGENCY!” Suzy hurriedly clarified. “A generational divide! Parents LONELY at the dinner table, because we kids are on our phones! That’s why I have to take this... away,” she said, pointing at her smartphone. “I’m GROUNDING myself, to break the grip of social media! If anyone needs me, I’ll be on timeout WAY over THERE!”

        A couple impressionable students clapped as Suzy Starchman scuttled off, picking up speed and the phone that she’d left ringing. Collin sighed and followed after her, and Isabel did the same, though she had only followed with her eyes. There was something about a peppy, flailing girl like Suzy that made Isabel feel pleasantly smug and at ease, as if she was watching a newborn deer attempt to file its taxes.

        “Hello?!” Suzy hissed into her phone in a stage whisper. She’d retreated to the reliable privacy of the library’s politics section. “Jimmy? Is that you?”

        “It’s not ‘Jim E,’ it’s ‘Jim Three,’ like—nevermind.” A voice crunched down much deeper by a dozen different filters released a sigh of resignation. “What you call me, makes no difference. I am Jim 3. I am Legion. I’m anonymous... Amorpheous. I’m the roar of the silent majority here at Bayview Biddle School. The formless will of the student body, given form, and then: losing it again. I am like a ghost, the school spirit, here to haunt those who have desecrated its most grave commandments: the rules once set in stone in the original Code of Conduct, interpreted exactly as the FOUNDERS had intended their—”

        “Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. Ghosts aren’t real and neither are rules, so give me something real—something that rules—or I’ll have zero reasons to believe in YOU either, buddy.” Suzy sighed impatiently. “I don’t need some huff-and-puff piece, if you’re whistleblowing smoke. I’ve already got all the hot air I need to fill the balloons on the funny pages.”

        She gave Collin an excited “How am I doing?” grin, and he gave her a grim and supremely reluctant thumbs up in return.

        “...Are you alone?” the informant on the other line inquired.

        “Nothing here but empty space, some boring books, a bit of dust, and me,” Suzy said cheerfully, poking Collin in the brain to twin her meaning. The Journalism Club had time for a swift and silent bout of finger fencing before Amorpheous finally responded.

        “Good. That, was also a test. Know that I am watching: at all times.”

        Suzy and Collin’s mutual mimed mockery of Jim 3’s obvious bluff brought the Journalism Club back together as only a common enemy and/or object of ridicule could.

        “I’ve been looking for you, Suzy. I don’t know if you’re ready to see what I want to show you, but unfortunately you and I have run out of time. They’re coming for you, Suzy, and I don’t know what they’re going to do.” Amorpheous cleared his throat and stopped quoting his second favorite movie series. “Actually I’m pretty sure what they’re going to do is give you detention.”

        “What?!” Suzy gawked at her phone in indignant disbelief. “What do you mean?? Who’s coming for me?!”

        “Stand up and see for yourself...”

        Suzy, who was already standing, spun around to scan the library. Far off, at the entrance, an enormous regiment of Student Council officers was silently pouring into the library, the muted rustling of their march the only warning of their ambush-in-the-making.

        “I can guide you,” said Amorpheous, “but you must do exactly as I say...”